The girl who learned

~ Sometimes life gives you lemons... And when life gives you lemons the best thing to do is to make lemonade out of them :)
~ So okay, something happened to me, something has changed in my life and because of it I've been in a pretty crappy mood. Take the crappy mood and add this song to it... To see the result please, read below.....
~ You can give this story whatever meaning you want :)

"Once upon a time there was this cute little girl who lived a peaceful life inside her tiny house with ginger bread walls and windows like wafers. She was well aware of her beauty but she never showed it because she knew that beauty was of little significance…

She lived her life quietly but in her heart she knew that at some point something special would happen.

God didn’t give her a perfect, wealthy family, nor did He give her a castle but what He gave her instead was her beauty – the simplest and most natural kind – a vivid imagination that allowed her thoughts to fly and a good mind. He gave her a healthy body and a vulnerable spirit that would tremble to the smallest of this Earth’s sufferings. But beyond all these, her most precious gift was her Smile – yes, God gave her the kindest and goofy-est smile so when she smiled the ones around her couldn’t but smile back to her.

This girl believed in dreams and in fairytales, she thought Christmas was the most beautiful holiday there was and she still believed in Santa, because she thought that Santa, as well as God, dwell inside each and every one of us. This girl loved butterflies and ladybugs, she thought flowers were God’s most wonderful invention and music was her most favorite language.

Yet, she still had many lessons to learn. The gingerbread walls hid her well and kept her away from the ugliness of the world. Her old parents knew how vulnerable she was so they did their best to protect her and raised her up holding her as you would hold a crystal ball that needs the most special attention in order not to get broken.

So everywhere they took her she was one of the best children, got high marks, learned well, was a good pupil, read a lot, learned to play the piano but as she grew she became more and more curious about the world… Unprepared, used to the unconditional love of her family, used to the warmth of her home she began her adventure. She thought people were essentially good, she believed there was something good in all of them and she lived with the conviction that her goodness would only be repaid with goodness…But she was wrong….

She put her heart in the hands of strangers and believed in every word they said. She though that as long as she wouldn’t harm them she wouldn’t get hurt. But they only squeezed her heart until it was broken and then they threw it away.

She lost her confidence, she got disappointed, she lost the ability to trust and to believe…

She would still believe in God and in His plan for her, she would still believe in the power of goodness. She kept the faith that all people can be good and that positive energy draws positive things. She just wouldn’t let her heart shine like she used to do. She wouldn’t let the others see her heart so that no one could harm it.

She would still be nice to the people around her but she built a wall so that they couldn’t get too close and somehow she pushed them away…..

She hid her fears, her frustration, her lack of trust, her tears behind this wall so that people would think she was strong and confident and impossible to be hurt….What a lie!

But one day something happened…. she didn’t pray for it, she didn’t wish for it to happen…it simply happened…Destiny brought him in her life just like that, without any explanation. He was a charming man, the “beast” she’d been waiting for, a knight…Unfortunately this knight lived in a sort of “Far far away kingdom”…Smart, brave, funny, cute, sometimes childish, sensitive…he conquered her heart and she didn’t even notice it. It happened fast. His words put a spell on her and broke down her wall. Flowers and beautiful trees started to grow roots on the place where the cold wall used to be and wonderful butterflies and bees and ladybugs invaded her heart. She began to dream and believe again. She felt that that was the moment she’d been waiting for all her life – her little miracle, her little “something special”.

He was special, he was her fairytale but beyond all these he was her “lesson of love”.And, ohh, what a lesson it was. There were so many things about love she didn’t know. She had to learn that love is patient, caring, tender and giving. She had to learn that love is not selfish, that love thinks for “two”. She had to learn that love means trust and understanding. She had to learn to wait and trust. She had to learn that love is kind and she had to give him a chance …. a chance to give her an explanation, a chance to prove her that his words were not mere lies, a chance to let him show his love.

Always trapped between the voice of her heart and the voice of her head, there was always a battle going on inside of her, so she had to LEARN how to control her duality and she had to bring this fight to an end. So she had to pick a winner, make a decision and stick with it.

When her head said “you should come first on his list of priorities” her heart said “you know and you understand his situation and love is about “us”, not only about “me”".

When her head said “he abandoned you” her heart said “believe in his words and in his promises”.

When her head said “he should have protected you” her heart answered “you are not for everybody a crystal ball..some may see you like this, some may not, you must accept them as they are and you must protect yourself from breaking”.

Where there was disappointment her heart replaced it with faith, where there was doubt her heart sat in peace and waited for a nice surprise. When her mind felt abandoned, her heart chose to believe in his words and in God’s plan for her.

Her heart won, she chose to believe, hope and wait.

But him? What about him?

Well.. it’s not simple to build bridges between distant shores and it’s not easy to build bridges between two hearts that beat so far away from each other. And how do you convince a heart to love what she cannot see or feel? If he just gave up on her, she would understand.

And if, after all, this would prove itself to be a simple happening in her life and not that “something special” she’d been waiting for, then she would just choose to learn. And a lesson learned is nothing but a step closer to God, closer to perfection."

Bits and pieces of thoughts

~ (pieces of my imagination)
.....

She sat there and smoked the cigarette sighing….She spent the night thinking and listening to music….the chords of music helped her put her thoughts in order, like you carefully place books on library shelves. Sometimes I feel too much, she thought, but at the end of the day it is all about sensations – we remember fragrances, sights, emotions, the way things feel when we touch them. That’s all we take with us when we leave this world.

She lit another cigarette Men are weird…or maybe I am weird…I am either an icon or a piece of meat to them and I can’t understand why.

Sounds were lightly coming out of her cassette player but she couldn’t hear them. The room bathed into neon light and the black&white keys of her piano gave her a somewhat psychedelic state I think I am in love. And there’s only one way I know how to do this – with my entire being. Does he know that?! Can he understand? When he subtly asks me to wait for him, does he mean it? Does he know I would really wait? Maybe I am the only one who’s in love. Or maybe he is confused. But does he know that what I actually give him is my time…hours of my days…little parts of my life. Isn’t this the greatest gift?......And I…what am I to him aside from a sweet distraction? NOTHING…probably nothing.

Sweet words…if only he knew how many meanings words have to me…he asks me to speak my language to him…my language is a complicated symphony…if only he knew.

All of the sudden she began to pay attention to the music again “And I give up forever to touch you”…her favorite song, one that made her heart tremble and wet her eyes with tears….Give up…he doesn’t give up on anything for my sake…He says he loves me but he goes on with his life like I wouldn’t even be here. LIAR!!! And I’m just a fool…the biggest fool ever…everybody takes me for a fool..and they all think they can tread on my feelings. Don’t they know that I feel too?!

In my little world I thought I could get lucky for once.

I made a dream, an impossible dream,

like all my other dreams.

I forgot to measure the distance between our worlds…

Like a star that shines upon my world,

so far away in the cold distance,

he is

She was trying to write a few verses when she heard these words "What if all these fantasies/ Come flailing around/ Now I've said too much/ I thought that I heard you laughing/ I thought that I heard you sing/ I think I thought I saw you try/ But that was just a dream/ That was just a dream."

In a weird way the music was accompanying her state of spirit God, if you are up there why are you doing this to me? What wrong have I done?!

She stood up and left her half-smoked cigarette in the flowery blue china ash tray – No, I won’t cry again. I won’t take half measures and no man will kneel me in this life time. I will live my life fully, I will have fun and I will make the best of it. I have enough problems to deal with so no, I won’t waste any more time with you and your “ball-less”nature.

If you are not able to fight for me then you can go away and leave me alone.

If you are not able to choose, then go away!

If you are not able to stand up for your choices, then go away!

If you are not able to love me, then go away!

LIAR!!!!!!!!!

I might be a kid, I might have a lot of growing up to do but I’m not your fool. I might be too childish and dreamy – no more of that!!!! Dreams are for fools!

"Forgive that they teared down my soul
Bless them that they might grow old"

Music always helped her put her thoughts in order – the order of the books carefully placed on library shelves.

She turned off the music and the lights, she drew the curtains and in the cold darkness she went to bed hoping for a better tomorrow.

Sometimes I feel too much…

She left her heart and the half-smoked cigarette in the flowery blue china ash tray.

:) Work.....

This is the newest extension of my body. This thing, or better said creature, is widely known for ringing especially when you are not in your office – which doesn’t mean that you are outside, smocking cigarettes, but you are in other offices with business.

If you find yourselves bound to this type of creature make sure that you have some nice colleagues around, ready to take the calls for you – I, for one, have been blessed with a few such colleagues.

If you weren’t lucky enough to find some kind people to answer the phone in your stead than be happy – the creature will help you save a pretty penny cause with all the running to answer the phone you won’t need to work out in weekends. A few days as a secretary and you will notice an improvement of the muscular tonus, better breathing, awesome heart rate. I can’t guarantee for your nervous system, though. And no, I’m not whining.

Back to our creature – aside from the times when it becomes a total pain in the ass it is the greatest device to get in touch with some awesome people (with funny accents)– like Daniel, Mrs. Niebergall, Shine and Louise, Matthew,etc.

Playing with this baby is not as complicated as it looks like, though the first time I saw it I though – “I’d rather learn how to fly a plane than learn how to use this thing”. But it’s a friendly creature after all. And it covers a big part of my job. I picked a cute ringtone for it, I gave it a name – which is Boo – and now it is all mine :)

Now, little girl days have passed/ And I've grown up so fast/ But in your heart that little girl will never be far

My mom and I don’t always get along. Not because she’d be a bad mom or because I would be a bad daughter…but maybe because we are two very different beings. My mom is very hard to please and she gives me the feeling that she’s never satisfied or contempt with what I do – the clothes I wear are not feminine enough, the things I do are not good enough, the things I like are not classy enough, my decisions are never right, the boys I have crushes on are never good enough for me etc.

Maybe it’s just that she finds it hard to adapt to the fact that I’ve grown up and I can be responsible for myself, and I can make my own decisions. However, the fact that she treats me like a 2-year-old kid frustrates me beyond belief. And it also huts me. It also hurts me to see that she doesn’t trust my judgment or, better yet, she doesn’t trust me.
She lives with the conviction that I hide things from her, that I don’t tell her everything, that I don’t share my thoughts and feelings with her. And maybe that’s not totally untrue but it’s not only my fault. The truth is – our relationship has never been great. The one who actually raised me up was my grandma and maybe that’s why I’m not so close to my mom. My grandma is a better friend to me than my mom.

We fight pretty often and usually over stupid little things. Our egos collide with a tremendous shock and, at the end of our fights, we rarely end up reaching consensus. I think our relationship is mostly based on compromise. The paradox is that when we don’t fight, we get along really well…We like the same books, we are amazing shopping partners, we have fun in the kitchen, etc.

The problem is that our fights always make me feel guilty. My mom is not a happy woman, I know that, and making her even sadder and more miserable makes me feel awful. If there’s something I hate that is letting people down and my mom gives me the feeling that she’s disappointed with me – though, I believe she doesn’t really have any reason to be.

Reading this I realize that now you might think poorly of me. It puts me in a bad light, I’m sorry. I don’t usually open up like this but today I really felt the need to vent out.

She loves me

~ I usually visit my grandma on weekends. I enjoy every minute spent with her. She is probably the strongest and wisest person I have ever met and I love her tremendously.
Nothing is more precious to me than her voice calling me "sweetheart" and I know that there won't be many persons in this lifetime that will tell me a more sincere or a more intense "I love you".
~ She also cooks the best food in the whole wide world. I wouldn't need any fancy, expensive, exotic food if I had one dish made by her.
~ She is my friend, my counselor, my mom, my grandma. There's not one topic we can't discuss - we talk girls stuff, politics, books.
~ Her life was very tumultuous, she's been through more stuff than most people go through in a lifetime - that's probably why she gives the best pieces of advice. She also has a great intuitive ability and she "reads" people easily.
~ She is also the person I respect the most - for all that she is, for her strength, for all the efforts she made to raise me and my brother up, for all the good things she made out of nothing.
~ I love you, granny :)


As beautiful as this song....that's how beautiful my grandma is.

Weekend

~ After 5 working days, you expect a rewarding weekend. My Saturday was pretty much a mess. I thank God for my optimistic nature and for the ability to see the full half of the glass.

~ I decided to leave the problems aside and fill my time with..something. Long walks + shopping + cinema = a pretty nice weekend.














~ I saw "Prince of Persia" and loved it. And oh my, Jake Gyllenhaal is so CUTE :D



~ I hope to have a better time next weekend. Friday will be awesome for sure. Aerosmith is one of my favorite bands and they'll be playing here on Friday \m/.

(My ticket)



I ♥ this song

From L., with love.....

~~ While cleaning up my room today I found this letter. One of my class-mates wrote it to me when we were in high-school. I didn't give much attention to it back then but now I realize what a sweet gesture he did:) I was never able to feel for him more than I would feel for a friend...and I kinda mocked him for feeling something different for me.
I never thought of myself as of a special, uncommon being though people keep telling me I am no ordinary girl...
He is one of the persons who stood faithful to this belief - that I am special. :)

"Edelweiss

My soul is frozen, like a piece of ice awaiting for the holy Spring to come and bring it back to life. It’s winter now, the dreadful season that takes you away and leaves my heart broken and longing for you. Dearly, carefully, I keep the petal you gave to me when we said goodbye, when you allowed the mild wind to carry hope on its wings and lay it smoothly on my soul.

I’m feeling sad now and I’m thinking of the past, remembering the moments I spent deluding myself at the feet of the fantastic mountain on the rocks of which you grow and renew, hidden from the malicious eyes that could harm you, tenderly caressed by the Sun and motherly protected by the Moon.

I am like an explorer…I am aware of the obstacles that stand in my way to you and I wait, probably hopelessly, for an opportunity to climb the mountain and reach you, watch you closely. I know, the road that leads to happiness is toilsome but the breath of wind that carries your perfume gives me strength and hope. With all these in mind, I patiently await for the grandios Nature to come in my help and, at the end of this Winter, to break some of the rocks that stand in my way. On the peak of this heaven-born mountain you remained untouched and pure. I will always have this burning passion and curiosity to study you, observe you, discover you.

Thinking of what I’ve written I realize that you probably are a special being, dearly loved and protected by God and that maybe He is the only one who has the right to watch you. I realize that I have no right to dream of you, to hope to ever have you; I don’t deserve you for I am merely a humble mortal blinded by what I cannot see. It’s hard to admit this, but I can’t have you and I know that there will be many others like me that, allured by your noble appearance, will look for something that is not to be found.

There’s nothing left to be said. I will try to find another flower, one that grows down in the flat plain. However you will always be my distinguished “edelweiss”.

With love,

L."

.......................................................................
~ Si varianta in romana:)

" Floare-de-colt

Mi-e sufletul pustiu de gheata in asteptarea primaverii datatoare de speranta. E iarna acum, cumplitul anotimp ce mi te ia pe fiecare an, lasandu-mi inima secata de un dor nebun care ma macina necontenit. Pastrez cu drag si grija petala ce mi-ai dat-o la despartire, cand l-ai lasat pe bunul vant sa poarte in zbor speranta si s-o aseze lin in sufletu-mi crestin.

Acum sunt trist si ma gandesc la clipele trecute, cand m-amageam la poalele ce au dat viata fantasticului munte pe ale carui stanci renasti, ascunsa de priviri iscoditoare ce ar putea sa-ti faca rau. Privita esti de bunul Soare, ce te alinta gingas cu razele-i plapande, ocrotitor vegheaza Luna la somnul tau fara de griji seara de seara.

Precum exploratorul ce stie ca are in fata ultimul obstacol ce se opune fericirii sale, asa astept si eu, zadarnic poate, sa pot urca la tine si sa te vad de-aproape. Anevoioasa e calea ce aduce bucuria, stiu asta, insa placuta e adierea ce vine din vazduh aducand mireasma ta ce ma revigoreaza si ma indeamna sa nu renunt la gandul meu pe care-l stii prea bine. Avand acest crez, astept rabdator ca natura sa ma ajute si la sfarsitul iernii sa mai desprinda cateva pietricele din stancile ce ma impiedica sa ajung la tine. Pe varful muntelui ceresc, tu ai ramas neprihanita si pura, intocmai ca Fecioara ce o cinstim cu totii. O pasiune arzatoare in a te studia eu voi avea mereu, desi nu voi interveni acolo unde nici un ochi de muritor nu o poate face.

Gandindu-ma la ce am scris, am realizat ca esti faptura Domnului, ca numai El are dreptul sa il coboare pe Sfantul Duh asupra ta.

Spunand acestea eu nu am dreptul sa visez, sa nazuiesc ceva ce nu pot merita; sunt doar un muritor de rand orbit de ceea ce nu vad. Mi-e greu sa recunosc, insa eu nu te pot avea si stiu ca vor mai fi multi asemenea mie care vor cauta, impinsi de nobila-ti infatisare, sa caute ceea ce nu e de gasit.

Nu mai este nimic de spus si desi mi-as dori sa raman si eu precum Luceafarul lui Eminescu “nemuritor si rece”, nu pot. Voi incerca sa caut alta floare, aflata mai pe la campie, insa pe veci tu vei ramane distinsa mea “floare-de-colt”. In final tot la vorba aceea ramanem, “Daca dragoste nu e, nimic nu e”.

Cu dragoste,

L."

Happy B-day, Best Friend!

~~ At some point in the past Andra and I planned to start a business....create, design and sell greeting cards and prints using her photographies and my poems.
We never actually start the business though we had plenty of ideas and materials.
The text designed by me for one of the cards was the following:

__"Our relation has always been special…colorful…unique.

We’ve gathered so many memories over the years…and there’s not one important moment of my life that we didn’t share.

Adventures, misfortunes or raptures we’ve tasted them together and there is no other friendship I cherish more than yours.

You are my closest friend and that is why I need to confess how our friendship translates to me:

Trust

Healing

Affection

Nobility

Kindness

Youth

Oneness

Understanding

for being a true friend!"

~~ Andra might not know but she was my source of inspiration for this text.

~~ Today is her birthday! She turns 21!
Much love to you, girl, and thanks for the awesome day we've spent together!!



~~ PS: Andra, do you remember how we called our business? (l0l)
..............
~~ Visit her blog here

23rd of July 2008...

~~ This story is true and it's one of the memories I hold the dearest:) I wrote it 4 days after the show:)
~~ Words are too poor to express what I felt when I met my heroes...words are also too poor to describe what these people and their music mean to me...I grew up with their lyrics and riffs, I grew up collecting posters and buying their albums. I've loved them since I was 11 and I guess my love for them is endless.
Thank you ,guys! Thank you not only for the music:)
.......................................................

My Met Story

The dark mantle of the night falls down upon the city. The air is chilly and sends shivers to our bodies with each and every breath of wind. The stadium turns out too narrow for the crowd gathered to see the miracle. The crowd -- a herd of untamed beasts, all led by instincts, anxiously awaiting for their dream to become reality.
Their breath – nervously pulled out of their nostrils – turns into warm
steams that raise over the pitch like a gentle transparent rain-coat.
Their voices – rough and loud – lift up to the skies and break the deep silence of the night.
Eventually the miracle begins -- glorious, wonderful -- the pure sounds of “The Ecstasy of Gold” announce that the Gods are ready for the show.
All lights are on and pointing to the stage: “The Four Horsemen” – James, Lars, Kirk and Rob –show up saluting the crowd.

It’s a dream coming true!!!

It’s raining – the Lord’s tears pour on our skins blessing and baptizing the event.
We are soaked but who cares?! In the cold dark air both spotlights and raindrops play in the fiery rhythm of heavy music.
Our voices merge into a spiral of raw beauty and love and pierce through the clouds.
The fireworks and flames coming out of the stage give off a breath of Hell reminding us of the terrifying turmoil of war. Our voices become “One” sending to Heaven the grievance of all heroes dead on the front. The flames fade away in front of our eyes leaving behind tiny sparks that seem to be a million glow-worms gathered round in a mystical worship dance dedicated to the Gods.
Souls, bodies, voices -- they all sing into the night -- they sing the Anthems of Believing in Dreams, of Dedication, of Passion and (Self)Respect, of Perseverance.
Up there on the stage are our Heroes , our Idols, the Ones that we’ve been always looking up to. They are the ones who have taught us not to fear the “Sandman”, the parents who have told us the story of the “Creeping Death”. They are our Angels of Hope, the angels who breathe strength into our lives and “Whiplash” our dreads. They are our teachers and from them we’ve learned how to surpass our weakness, how to “Seek and Destroy” the frustrations. They are our imperfect gods who admit that there’s no righteousness “and Justice for All”.
Somehow, deep down inside our hearts, we know for sure -- the Gods love us just as much as we love them, even if they don’t know our names or faces or language. It’s a feeling that goes from soul to soul and we’ve chosen to let our souls speak tonight.
I raise my head to the sky and feel the pouring rain crash into my face. I lift my hands as in a prayer – a sign of gratitude towards Heaven. The earth is shaking under my feet. I sense the vibrations invading my body, entering every cell, opening each pore. I scream my lungs out, I howl and become one with the ground, one with the air, with the sound – one with the crowd and stage. It’s raw, savage and weird this feeling of losing yourself . I feel my body disintegrating – I’m melting into the crowd and becoming an undistinguishable part of a huge whole.
We share the night together – this ephemeral moment in time – and “Nothing Else Matters”. We’re wet with sweat and rain but we feel “No remorse”, not a bit of despondence.
The Gods teach us how to “Ride the Lightning”, we summon the “Master of Puppets” and ask “For whom the bell tolls”. We shout out loud the “Sad but true” story of the “Sanitarium” then scream the name of our “Harvester of Sorrow” – which is Time, for it flies away too fast and it takes the Gods away from us. But they say “So what? We shall return” and we send each other one “Last Caress” before the lights “Fade to Black”.

It’s over. A dream came true, a miracle happened!

For 24.000 people this is a day of history, a moment when time freezes and the rest of the world stops existing. It’s a moment in time when our hearts pulse with intense happiness and our souls feel the warm embrace of the Universe.

We leave the place although we want and need more. The puzzles of our souls have one piece less now because each and every one of us leaves a drop of their spiritual essence here. Our spirits have been touched by The Four Horsemen:

The Equilibrium and Open – Heartedness (Lars)
The Strength and Pride (James)
The Color and Mildness (Kirk)
The Electricity and Modesty (Rob)

We shall never be the same again!!!!!!!!!

It’s been a miserable day -- all rainy and muddy -- but Metallica have added a drop of gold at the end of it. These Alchemists – who turn into gold everything they touch – are the Heroes of the Day –Every day!!!!!!!

THANK YOU !!!!!

………………………………………………………………………………………………
~~This is the story of the only Metallica concert I’ve ever been to and the one I’ve been dreaming about for the last 9 years of my life.
Words are too poor to express what I’ve felt ; love, respect, admiration, gratitude, humbleness – all of them have mixed up in my heart and become the most beautiful experience I’ve ever lived so far.

~~It’s been 4 days from the show now but the spiral of our reunited spirits and voices is still up in the sky - revolving and piercing through the clouds, shinning in the thick obscure of the night. Our spiral will live forever up there in the infinite grandness of the sky , reminding of the miracle we’ve witnessed on the 23rd of July!

...........................

............................
My door~~

(The Chinese characters -- first row says "Wo ai ni" which means "I love you", second row is the phonetic transcription of my name, Doina )

On my piano..instead of a part~~

10th of July...5 years ago...

~~ My grandpa died 5 years ago...
I remember that day as if it was yesterday. The summer of 2004 was a very hot summer, unnaturally hot. My grandpa was 79 years old and had heart problems. The weather made him feel sick for a couple of days before his heart failed. He was tall and handsome, old and wrinkled on the outside but still young on the inside. He was a kind and childish soul and he loved sweets:D
~~ The night he died it rained like it had never rained before. It felt like the skies broke. Hellish thunders, huge lightnings and bean-sized raindrops and hail.
~~ One day before he passed I payed him a visit...it was the last time I saw him, literally. I remember that I had second thoughts about going to see my grandparents that day as it was so hot.
~~ I never saw his death coming that's why it was a huge shock for me. I went to his funerals but stood outside the chapel.I refused to watch him lying dead in the coffin.
In a way I never had the guts to say good-bye. I hate good-byes!!!
~~ My grandpa taught me how to swing without being pushed, in his hands is where I saw for the first time a bobbin and a rotor, from him I take the love for writing, he taught me what crosswords are and how to use hammers and nails.
~~ The empty place his death left in my heart is now filled with so many dear memories. If I close my eyes I can still hear his voice calling me and feel his huge hand grasping my hand.
~~ My only regret is that he is not here to see how much I've grown...
~~ I love you, grandpa:)Rest in peace beautiful soul!
--------------------

Updates

~~ Wow, it's been over a month since I last posted on this blog. I apologize for my absence but it wasn't causeless.
~~ The main reason why I haven't been around much lately is that I dedicated more time to studying. I had a paper to finish and a final exam to pass -- I graduated college.
So now I have a Bachelor Degree in Sociology and Social Work - YAY!!!
~~ I have come to the conclusion that my passion for music has been my savior in many situations (school related). Do you have any idea how many essays about music I wrote for my English class in high-school?!
In college I got an A+ on an essay about asylums. Our English teacher asked us to write and essay based on one of Erving Goffman's books and I chose the one entitled "Asylums". We were also requested to use two more sources and to express our own opinion about the chosen subject. Aside from my own opinion about asylums and the way the inmates are treated, the other two references where Coelho's book "Veronik decides to die" and Metallica's "Sanitarium". The teacher loved my essay so much she gave me an A+:)
~~ Music saved me again this year. In order to graduate we are supposed to write a paper (50-80 pages)and the final exam consists of a 20 mins presentation of the paper+ a couple of questions. My paper is about Emo adolescents and their relationship with their parents - a sociological qualitative research.
~~ Have I ever told you how much I love music and that my life would be so empty without it?!
~~ Anyway aside from college I haven't been doing much. I've read a couple of books ("Chronicle of a Death Foretold" by G.Garcia Marquez, "Madame Bovary" by Gustave Flaubert and some of R. Tagore's poetry) and drawn.
~~ I'm looking forward to going to the mountains with Andra and have some fun:)
Till then I guess I'll just keep myself busy with reading, drawing and housekeeping activities:P

"21, only son, but he served us well"

~~ Today I celebrate my 21st anniversary.Wow! Time passed so fast. Finally I am "legal" wherever I may go. I know this is a big thing in the U.S. but for us, Romanians, this big thing happen when people turn 18.
~~ Today is not going to be a very special day -- it's Monday and people are busy.
However it will be special because I choose it to be -- it's my birthday!
~~ 3 years ago in the exact same day I was at my prom, graduating high-school.
I turned 18 dressed up like a princess, in a very special place. Prom and birthday in the same night - wow!
~~ As a funny coincidence this is my 21st blog post too. In a few months I've reached 13 followers, aprox. 50 comments and 400 blog views -- it's not much but it is something:):)
~~ I feel proud -- in 21 years of life I have graduated 5 schools - Elementary, High-school, Music School and 2 colleges (actually I am days away from finishing college)- I made my parents be proud of me, I have met interesting people, I have reached some of my dreams, I have made one true friend, I have successfully dealt with weirdos and haters, I have recently fallen in love, I have had my 5 minutes of glory, I have experienced so many feelings and situations, I have seen so many things, I have started this blog and made it work, I have joined poetry sites and made so many new friends.
~~ I am curious about what this life has in store for me!I hope it's gonna be one hell of a ride!
~~ Wish you all a wonderful week!
~~ The text below was initially written for someone else. But since May is the last month of Spring, I guess this text works for me too:D:D
~~ Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...............................
Every Spring Nature rises again and comes back to life...
...Every Spring You finish a chapter of your life and start writing a new one...
Doina, you are a Writer...
...may the pen you hold in your hand write the most beautiful and exciting stories
this year.

You are a Traveler...
...may this 21st road be smooth and out of dead-ends...may you run with the speed of Hell and fly with the wings of Heaven.

You are a Fighter...
...you have as weapons the Strength of your Mind,the Shine of your Heart,the Sparkle of your Imagination and the Wit of your Spirit...may you use these weapons to win all battles, to pass all tests, to cross all boundaries.

You are Human...
...may you be humanly in love with life and with yourself this year...

You are a Flower...
...may you bloom in health, love, joy and happiness this year and every year on the 25th of May!

Happy Birthday!

...........................
~~ It is a little awkward to make b-day wishes for yourself, isn't it?
~~ Anyway, this b-day wish works for anyone born between March and May:) You just need to change the name, the b-day and the number of her/his age.
~~ For those who don't know -- the title of this post is a lyric from a song called Disposable Heroes by Metallica. One of my favs.
~~ Please watch the vid -- it's way too funny:)

Easter

~~ I guess Easter is about forgiving and letting the Divine Light inside your heart.
I also guess Easter is about believing more and questioning less.
I am not a religious person..i don't go to church very often but when I do go I make sure I am the only one inside. I like listening to that silence...the silence you can hear only inside of a church...a divine silence that echoes between the cold walls.
In that silence I hear my thoughts..I hear the real me...the ME that wears no masks, the ME behind the appearances...the ME released from the rules of society...just ME.
In that silence I meet myself, I hear myself, I become aware of how I feel and of what I want, I listen to myself and I can see myself.
~~I am not a religious person as in a person who believes in the words of the Bible.
But i am religious is my very own way. I know I carry God's signature on my soul and I can feel Him dwelling inside of me. I know for sure that He hears me and I also know that when the time is right He answers back.
My God is a stronger version of me...He is my enlightenment and my hope...the helping hand that reaches out for me when I am in need...
~~ I've never taken the time to put my beliefs in order and this post is like a talk to myself...
I will come back to this subject later on. I still have to ponder.
~~ Anyway...the point for today was to write about Easter because this is what I celebrate tonight.
As i was cleaning up the house and helping my mom to cook today I realized that many of the Holidays we celebrate have become only a reason to eat...to eat special food that we cook once or twice a year. These Holy Days have lost so much of their spiritual meaning...
I look at the people around me and I hear them worrying about how to split their time between cooking and cleaning on time.
But what about a prayer?! When was the last time they have said one?
-Does anybody remember why we celebrate Easter?!
-Hmm, we celebrate it because someone died?!
-Yeah-- but Who died? And Why? For Whom?
-Well...that's not so important. After all He did returned from the dead, right?!

~~ Happy Easter, everyone! And please -- don't forget to remember who died, why and for whom! It's important!!!
~~Many blessings to all of you!


~~ Can you hear God in her voice? I can.
.........................................................
~~ Photo Credit : *shimoda7

Sleepless Night

4th of April, 2009
Cleveland .........Ohio
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
METALLICA


~~I have spent the night watching the induction ceremony online. The show began at 3am, my time, and the clock was pointing 7 am when Metallica finally went on stage.
It was a long waiting but it was worth it.
~~Metallica is the band i grew up with. I was only 11 when I listened to one of their songs for the first time...and the song was called One.
~~Metallica was there for me - for good and for bad, singing about feelings i have felt too, about situations I have been through too, making me aware that i wasn't alone.
~~These powerful alchemists, these masterful wizards of noise and sound, these skilled masters of words and meanings wrapped up in harmonies and chords..these are the men I call my HEROES and to whom I send my deepest respect, gratitude and love.
\m/James Hetfield\m/
\m/Lars Ulrich\m/
\m/Kirk Hammett\m/
\m/Jason Newsted\m/
\m/Rob Trujillo\m/
May God bless you all with health and happiness until the end of time..And you,\m/Cliff Burton\m/, may your soul rest in peace forever!
~~ Having the opportunity to see and hear Jason Newsted playing again with the other 4 cats was a blessing...I wish he'd never leave the band again!!!!

~~After 26 years of career Metallica got Inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!
A loud "Hell Yeah"!!!!!!!!!!!!!






~~ Thank you, Metallica!