Work and Santa stuff

~ Work has been great and I’m so lucky to have this job. I’m on vacation until the 3^rd of January though. I felt a little tired so I took some days off. Unfortunately, starting from this Monday, I’ve been a little sick too. Hopefully I’ll be feeling better until Saturday.

~ Pleasant surprise @ work – so, there’s this colleague of mine who’s pregnant so right now she’s in the maternity leave. Of course, my managers have been looking for someone to replace her (she’s an accountant). I never thought it’d be so difficult to find someone suitable for a job, considering how many accountants there are in Romania and how tough the economy has been. Some of the applicants weren’t enough qualified, some thought 10 hours/day is too much, some thought the distance is too big (our offices are 3 km away from Bucharest – it takes me 1h and 15mins to get there everyday). Among these applicants there was this woman, at about 50 years of age, very nice, very friendly, very polite and very well prepared. She gave it a shot for 2 weeks in our offices but she didn’t feel comfortable with the job so she left… In the short time I had her around I could see that she was kind and mild. Anyway, in her last day at our place we left together. In the subway, before the train entered the station where I had to get down, she told me “I wish you luck and inspiration to make the right decisions and to live your life to the fullest. You’re a special kid, God gave you more gifts than He gave to others. Use them wisely. I hope you have a wonderful life.” I must admit, she kind of impressed me and she also left me thinking about the meaning of her words.

~ Also @ work – my boss rules. She told me I’m a hardworking kiddo and I do a good job. And I got a raise – the second one in 8 months. :)

~ I made tiramisu 2 days ago. It came out pretty yummy and everybody enjoyed it. I even got the “it’s the best Tiramisu I’ve had in my whole life” line coming from someone. Unfortunately I didn’t get a chance to take a picture of the cake. Maybe next time…

~ So, Christmas is gone... It's my favorite holiday but this year I didn't love it so much. I think it's the first time in my life when I don't enjoy Christmas... (for an explanation, read the previous post). Anyway, since Santa knows I'm a good kid he visited me too and he brought me....books - as boring as it may sound, I LOVE books and I'm always happy when I receive or buy them. My "Santa brother" was very thoughtful and gave me this book along with this adorable plushie whose name is Aki.

~~ Aki & Luka and the Fire of Life by S. Rushdie ~~

~ I also bought this book.

~~ A Farewell to Arms by E. Hemingway ~~

~ And I ordered this one at this online library. It should be delivered in a few days. I can't wait :)

~ I hope you had a great Christmas & I wish you a wonderful New Year.
♥ Doina :)

The girl who learned

~ Sometimes life gives you lemons... And when life gives you lemons the best thing to do is to make lemonade out of them :)
~ So okay, something happened to me, something has changed in my life and because of it I've been in a pretty crappy mood. Take the crappy mood and add this song to it... To see the result please, read below.....
~ You can give this story whatever meaning you want :)

"Once upon a time there was this cute little girl who lived a peaceful life inside her tiny house with ginger bread walls and windows like wafers. She was well aware of her beauty but she never showed it because she knew that beauty was of little significance…

She lived her life quietly but in her heart she knew that at some point something special would happen.

God didn’t give her a perfect, wealthy family, nor did He give her a castle but what He gave her instead was her beauty – the simplest and most natural kind – a vivid imagination that allowed her thoughts to fly and a good mind. He gave her a healthy body and a vulnerable spirit that would tremble to the smallest of this Earth’s sufferings. But beyond all these, her most precious gift was her Smile – yes, God gave her the kindest and goofy-est smile so when she smiled the ones around her couldn’t but smile back to her.

This girl believed in dreams and in fairytales, she thought Christmas was the most beautiful holiday there was and she still believed in Santa, because she thought that Santa, as well as God, dwell inside each and every one of us. This girl loved butterflies and ladybugs, she thought flowers were God’s most wonderful invention and music was her most favorite language.

Yet, she still had many lessons to learn. The gingerbread walls hid her well and kept her away from the ugliness of the world. Her old parents knew how vulnerable she was so they did their best to protect her and raised her up holding her as you would hold a crystal ball that needs the most special attention in order not to get broken.

So everywhere they took her she was one of the best children, got high marks, learned well, was a good pupil, read a lot, learned to play the piano but as she grew she became more and more curious about the world… Unprepared, used to the unconditional love of her family, used to the warmth of her home she began her adventure. She thought people were essentially good, she believed there was something good in all of them and she lived with the conviction that her goodness would only be repaid with goodness…But she was wrong….

She put her heart in the hands of strangers and believed in every word they said. She though that as long as she wouldn’t harm them she wouldn’t get hurt. But they only squeezed her heart until it was broken and then they threw it away.

She lost her confidence, she got disappointed, she lost the ability to trust and to believe…

She would still believe in God and in His plan for her, she would still believe in the power of goodness. She kept the faith that all people can be good and that positive energy draws positive things. She just wouldn’t let her heart shine like she used to do. She wouldn’t let the others see her heart so that no one could harm it.

She would still be nice to the people around her but she built a wall so that they couldn’t get too close and somehow she pushed them away…..

She hid her fears, her frustration, her lack of trust, her tears behind this wall so that people would think she was strong and confident and impossible to be hurt….What a lie!

But one day something happened…. she didn’t pray for it, she didn’t wish for it to happen…it simply happened…Destiny brought him in her life just like that, without any explanation. He was a charming man, the “beast” she’d been waiting for, a knight…Unfortunately this knight lived in a sort of “Far far away kingdom”…Smart, brave, funny, cute, sometimes childish, sensitive…he conquered her heart and she didn’t even notice it. It happened fast. His words put a spell on her and broke down her wall. Flowers and beautiful trees started to grow roots on the place where the cold wall used to be and wonderful butterflies and bees and ladybugs invaded her heart. She began to dream and believe again. She felt that that was the moment she’d been waiting for all her life – her little miracle, her little “something special”.

He was special, he was her fairytale but beyond all these he was her “lesson of love”.And, ohh, what a lesson it was. There were so many things about love she didn’t know. She had to learn that love is patient, caring, tender and giving. She had to learn that love is not selfish, that love thinks for “two”. She had to learn that love means trust and understanding. She had to learn to wait and trust. She had to learn that love is kind and she had to give him a chance …. a chance to give her an explanation, a chance to prove her that his words were not mere lies, a chance to let him show his love.

Always trapped between the voice of her heart and the voice of her head, there was always a battle going on inside of her, so she had to LEARN how to control her duality and she had to bring this fight to an end. So she had to pick a winner, make a decision and stick with it.

When her head said “you should come first on his list of priorities” her heart said “you know and you understand his situation and love is about “us”, not only about “me”".

When her head said “he abandoned you” her heart said “believe in his words and in his promises”.

When her head said “he should have protected you” her heart answered “you are not for everybody a crystal ball..some may see you like this, some may not, you must accept them as they are and you must protect yourself from breaking”.

Where there was disappointment her heart replaced it with faith, where there was doubt her heart sat in peace and waited for a nice surprise. When her mind felt abandoned, her heart chose to believe in his words and in God’s plan for her.

Her heart won, she chose to believe, hope and wait.

But him? What about him?

Well.. it’s not simple to build bridges between distant shores and it’s not easy to build bridges between two hearts that beat so far away from each other. And how do you convince a heart to love what she cannot see or feel? If he just gave up on her, she would understand.

And if, after all, this would prove itself to be a simple happening in her life and not that “something special” she’d been waiting for, then she would just choose to learn. And a lesson learned is nothing but a step closer to God, closer to perfection."

A book can make me happy

~ If anyone asked me which is my favorite writer I would answer, without hesitation, Ernest Hemingway.
~Born in 1899, E. Hemingway is one of the best and most popular American writers.
Winner of a Pulitzer prize and of a Nobel prize for Literature, he wrote the most part of his work between the 1920s and the 1950s. Ernest Hemingway was married four times and participated in both World Wars as well as in the Spanish Civil War.
~ His entire work was inspired by his real-life experiences.
~ His writing style is amazing and deludingly simple ~ inspired by the author's own life but making reflexions on life in general.
~ Hemingway committed suicide in 1961.
~ Doubtlessly my all time favorite book is For Whom the Bell Tolls and I couldn't but LOVE The Old Man and The Sea.
~ The book below is my newest acquisition and I'm so looking forward to reading it :):)
~ Wish you all a great new week :)

~ Green Hills of Africa, 1935

~ For Whom the Bell Tolls; The Old Man and the Sea

:)

~~ Which bees give milk?
~~ The Boo-bees :D


~ Have a nice weekend!! :)

Bits and pieces of thoughts

~ (pieces of my imagination)
.....

She sat there and smoked the cigarette sighing….She spent the night thinking and listening to music….the chords of music helped her put her thoughts in order, like you carefully place books on library shelves. Sometimes I feel too much, she thought, but at the end of the day it is all about sensations – we remember fragrances, sights, emotions, the way things feel when we touch them. That’s all we take with us when we leave this world.

She lit another cigarette Men are weird…or maybe I am weird…I am either an icon or a piece of meat to them and I can’t understand why.

Sounds were lightly coming out of her cassette player but she couldn’t hear them. The room bathed into neon light and the black&white keys of her piano gave her a somewhat psychedelic state I think I am in love. And there’s only one way I know how to do this – with my entire being. Does he know that?! Can he understand? When he subtly asks me to wait for him, does he mean it? Does he know I would really wait? Maybe I am the only one who’s in love. Or maybe he is confused. But does he know that what I actually give him is my time…hours of my days…little parts of my life. Isn’t this the greatest gift?......And I…what am I to him aside from a sweet distraction? NOTHING…probably nothing.

Sweet words…if only he knew how many meanings words have to me…he asks me to speak my language to him…my language is a complicated symphony…if only he knew.

All of the sudden she began to pay attention to the music again “And I give up forever to touch you”…her favorite song, one that made her heart tremble and wet her eyes with tears….Give up…he doesn’t give up on anything for my sake…He says he loves me but he goes on with his life like I wouldn’t even be here. LIAR!!! And I’m just a fool…the biggest fool ever…everybody takes me for a fool..and they all think they can tread on my feelings. Don’t they know that I feel too?!

In my little world I thought I could get lucky for once.

I made a dream, an impossible dream,

like all my other dreams.

I forgot to measure the distance between our worlds…

Like a star that shines upon my world,

so far away in the cold distance,

he is

She was trying to write a few verses when she heard these words "What if all these fantasies/ Come flailing around/ Now I've said too much/ I thought that I heard you laughing/ I thought that I heard you sing/ I think I thought I saw you try/ But that was just a dream/ That was just a dream."

In a weird way the music was accompanying her state of spirit God, if you are up there why are you doing this to me? What wrong have I done?!

She stood up and left her half-smoked cigarette in the flowery blue china ash tray – No, I won’t cry again. I won’t take half measures and no man will kneel me in this life time. I will live my life fully, I will have fun and I will make the best of it. I have enough problems to deal with so no, I won’t waste any more time with you and your “ball-less”nature.

If you are not able to fight for me then you can go away and leave me alone.

If you are not able to choose, then go away!

If you are not able to stand up for your choices, then go away!

If you are not able to love me, then go away!

LIAR!!!!!!!!!

I might be a kid, I might have a lot of growing up to do but I’m not your fool. I might be too childish and dreamy – no more of that!!!! Dreams are for fools!

"Forgive that they teared down my soul
Bless them that they might grow old"

Music always helped her put her thoughts in order – the order of the books carefully placed on library shelves.

She turned off the music and the lights, she drew the curtains and in the cold darkness she went to bed hoping for a better tomorrow.

Sometimes I feel too much…

She left her heart and the half-smoked cigarette in the flowery blue china ash tray.

Capricorn vs. Gemini - My books

~ I can't decide which book to read first. What do you suggest?
Should it be

Thomas Mann (born on 6th of June 1875 = a Gemini) - The Magic Mountain

or

Edgar A. Poe (born on 19th of January 1809 = a Capricorn) - Tales

~ On another note - I had an awful week and not a very nice weekend. Thanks God, it's over!
Work has been crazy, work mates have been crazy and , to top it, I can't manage to understand malice, stupidity and non-creative minds. But then again, this week is over!

~ I'm off to bed:) Wish you a cool new week:)
xoxo


~~ PS: I really love this song

My books, my drawings

~~ My books

Ernest Hemingway - The Old Man and The Sea ;
Mary Shelley - Frankenstein ;
Salman Rushdie - Haroun and The Sea of Stories

~~ My (crappy) drawings
~ The Blue Alien and The Chocolate Bunny :D

Hand in Hand

~ Yesterday, on my way home, I saw something very beautiful on the street – two people, a man and a woman, holding hands and walking slowly together. Old, limping, rusted…but still in love…maybe not the kind of crazy love you feel when you’re 20…perhaps not even the rational love you feel when you’re 40…maybe just the kind of love you feel when you’re 70…close to the end of the line…but still holding hands and hearts with your partner.
This reminded me of a poem my grandma used to tell me when I was little. And the poem goes like this:

Watercolor
by Ion Minulescu

In the city where it rains for just about three days a week
City dwellers, on the sidewalk,
Stroll hand in hand and cheek to cheek,
In the city where it rains for just about three days a week,
From under the old umbrellas, which moan and squeak
And can’t sustain
The wet burden of the rain,
City dwellers on the sidewalk,
Look like automatic puppets, straight out of the window shop.

In the city where it rains for just about three days a week
Just one sound will fill the sidewalk:
It’s those walking hand in hand and cheek to cheek,
Counting
In their head
The cadence of the rain drops
Dripping from umbrellas,
From water pipes,
And from the brink
Of the sky, like a drink
Giving life--
Jaded,
Futile,
Full of strife.

In the city where it rains for just about three days a week
An old man and an old lady –
Two mechanic, broken toys –
Walk hand in hand and cheek to cheek.

.....................


Acuarelă
de Ion Minulescu

În oraşu-n care plouă de trei ori pe săptămână
Orăşenii, pe trotuare,
Merg ţinându-se de mână,
Şi-n oraşu-n care plouă de trei ori pe săptămână,
De sub vechile umbrele, ce suspină
Şi se-ndoaie,
Umede de-atâta ploaie,
Orăşenii pe trotuare
Par păpuşi automate, date jos din galantare.

În oraşu-n care plouă de trei ori pe săptămână
Nu răsună pe trotuare
Decât paşii celor care merg ţinându-se de mână,
Numărând
În gând
Cadenţa picăturilor de ploaie,
Ce coboară din umbrele,
Din burlane
Şi din cer
Cu puterea unui ser
Dătător de viaţă lentă,
Monotonă,
Inutilă
Şi absentă...

În oraşu-n care plouă de trei ori pe săptămână
Un bătrân şi o bătrână -
Două jucării stricate -
Merg ţinându-se de mână...

** Note: The translation is not mine:)

"I need a light, man" - tribute to a friend

~~ This post is a tribute to my friend, Rain. He is one of the awesome writers I have encountered on the internet. When I first started to share my poetry on the web I was afraid that the other writers might not welcome me, since English is my second language and my writings are not as profound and as expressive as theirs.
~~ Rain was one of the wonderful persons who have taken me in and supported me. He is a great writer - very profound, very expressive - his style is unique - great patterns, interesting messages that are not hard to follow through the details, the imageries and the figures of speech.
~~ Here is one of his poems - "I need a light, man"

man, i need a light
to light my cigarette
to find my way
i need a light that chases rats away
not some ordinary light you buy on ebay
i need a super duper light
a light that warns in coming ships light
a bright light, and end to life light
i want a light that blinds the sight light
i'm tired of being in the dark
i need a light up the night light
no batteries...no plugs
a light that shines on the thugs light
that shows me what's right light
i can't use no pen light
got no use for a brake light
i want one of those hollywood premiere lights
criss cross the sky light
i want don't want star light, sun light, head lights
kill the bugs at night light..
i don't want no candle light
no downtown neon light
i'm scared of shadows and cats
creepy clowns and lamp post bats

man, i need a light
can't see shit from this night stand
i want an industrial strength light,man
give me something that makes lie's run
i'm sick of standin in the shadows of the sun
not sure what's real..
not sure what i feel
because they hide the truth they steal

man, i need a light
nothing but the facts, mam
not some jazz from graceland
not some warm milk from never never land
never play chess with a blind man
or follow a cat with an armband
i want to know my cash is right
you can't see change with a flashlight
i want a light that's always on
not now you see it...now it's gone
show me the promise land light
just something i can hold on tight
i need a light, man

© Ray Neighbor

~~ You can find Rain here
~~ Drawing by Me :)

:) Work.....

This is the newest extension of my body. This thing, or better said creature, is widely known for ringing especially when you are not in your office – which doesn’t mean that you are outside, smocking cigarettes, but you are in other offices with business.

If you find yourselves bound to this type of creature make sure that you have some nice colleagues around, ready to take the calls for you – I, for one, have been blessed with a few such colleagues.

If you weren’t lucky enough to find some kind people to answer the phone in your stead than be happy – the creature will help you save a pretty penny cause with all the running to answer the phone you won’t need to work out in weekends. A few days as a secretary and you will notice an improvement of the muscular tonus, better breathing, awesome heart rate. I can’t guarantee for your nervous system, though. And no, I’m not whining.

Back to our creature – aside from the times when it becomes a total pain in the ass it is the greatest device to get in touch with some awesome people (with funny accents)– like Daniel, Mrs. Niebergall, Shine and Louise, Matthew,etc.

Playing with this baby is not as complicated as it looks like, though the first time I saw it I though – “I’d rather learn how to fly a plane than learn how to use this thing”. But it’s a friendly creature after all. And it covers a big part of my job. I picked a cute ringtone for it, I gave it a name – which is Boo – and now it is all mine :)

Pics

~I love fish~

The guy below was in a aquarium along with other fish - each of them representing a character from the cartoon called "Finding Nemo". Unfortunately, he was the only one who wanted to pose for me.

~Beautiful creature~

A couple of weeks ago I found a butterfly on my balcony, trapped between the windows. It was so beautiful, so colorful and so scared,moving its wings almost with the speed of a hummingbird.
I helped him find his way out. He climbed on my fingers, touched me so gently and so softly, and he flew away. I regretted not taking a picture of him. To my joy, a couple of days later, while walking outside with Andra, I saw another butterfly, identical to the one I had found on my balcony. These butterflies are playful and fast, so it's pretty difficult to take pictures of them. I did manage to take one picture though.

~Ladybug~

It is said that when a girl finds a ladybug it is a sign that she'll get married soon. I found this little one crawling up on one of my bedroom walls. Then it flew and rested on my arm for a few minutes.
Will I get married in the near future?!

~A moment of tenderness - Andra & Tina~

Now, little girl days have passed/ And I've grown up so fast/ But in your heart that little girl will never be far

My mom and I don’t always get along. Not because she’d be a bad mom or because I would be a bad daughter…but maybe because we are two very different beings. My mom is very hard to please and she gives me the feeling that she’s never satisfied or contempt with what I do – the clothes I wear are not feminine enough, the things I do are not good enough, the things I like are not classy enough, my decisions are never right, the boys I have crushes on are never good enough for me etc.

Maybe it’s just that she finds it hard to adapt to the fact that I’ve grown up and I can be responsible for myself, and I can make my own decisions. However, the fact that she treats me like a 2-year-old kid frustrates me beyond belief. And it also huts me. It also hurts me to see that she doesn’t trust my judgment or, better yet, she doesn’t trust me.
She lives with the conviction that I hide things from her, that I don’t tell her everything, that I don’t share my thoughts and feelings with her. And maybe that’s not totally untrue but it’s not only my fault. The truth is – our relationship has never been great. The one who actually raised me up was my grandma and maybe that’s why I’m not so close to my mom. My grandma is a better friend to me than my mom.

We fight pretty often and usually over stupid little things. Our egos collide with a tremendous shock and, at the end of our fights, we rarely end up reaching consensus. I think our relationship is mostly based on compromise. The paradox is that when we don’t fight, we get along really well…We like the same books, we are amazing shopping partners, we have fun in the kitchen, etc.

The problem is that our fights always make me feel guilty. My mom is not a happy woman, I know that, and making her even sadder and more miserable makes me feel awful. If there’s something I hate that is letting people down and my mom gives me the feeling that she’s disappointed with me – though, I believe she doesn’t really have any reason to be.

Reading this I realize that now you might think poorly of me. It puts me in a bad light, I’m sorry. I don’t usually open up like this but today I really felt the need to vent out.

J'irai chercher ton coeur si tu l'emportes ailluers

~~ I L♥VE this song so much :)

"J'ai compris tous les mots, j'ai bien compris, merci
Raisionnable et nouveau, c'est ainsi par ici
Que les choses ont changé, que les fleurs ont fané
Que le temps d'avant, c'était le temps d'avant
Que si tout zappe et lasse, les amours aussi passent

Il faut que tu saches

J'irai chercher ton coeur si tu l'emportes ailleurs
Même si dans tes danses d'autres dansent tes heures
J'irai chercher ton âme dans les froids dans les flammes
Je te jetterai des sorts pour que tu m'aimes encore

Fallait pas commencer m'attirer me toucher
Fallait pas tant donner moi je sais pas jouer
On me dit qu'aujourd'hui, on me dit que les autres font ainsi
Je ne suis pas les autres
Avant que l'on s'attache, avant que l'on se gâche

Je veux que tu saches

J'irai chercher ton coeur si tu l'emportes ailleurs
Même si dans tes danses d'autres dansent tes heures
J'irai chercher ton âme dans les froids dans les flammes
Je te jetterai des sorts pour que tu m'aimes encore

Je trouverai des langages pour chanter tes louanges
Je ferai nos bagages pour d'infinies vendanges
Les formules magiques des marabouts d'afrique
J'les dirai sans remords pour que tu m'aimes encore

Je m'inventerai reine pour que tu me retiennes
Je me ferai nouvelle pour que le feu reprenne
Je deviendrai ces autres qui te donnent du plaisir
Vos jeux seront les nôtres si tel est ton désir

Plus brillante plus belle pour une autre étincelle
Je me changerai en or pour que tu m'aimes encore."

She loves me

~ I usually visit my grandma on weekends. I enjoy every minute spent with her. She is probably the strongest and wisest person I have ever met and I love her tremendously.
Nothing is more precious to me than her voice calling me "sweetheart" and I know that there won't be many persons in this lifetime that will tell me a more sincere or a more intense "I love you".
~ She also cooks the best food in the whole wide world. I wouldn't need any fancy, expensive, exotic food if I had one dish made by her.
~ She is my friend, my counselor, my mom, my grandma. There's not one topic we can't discuss - we talk girls stuff, politics, books.
~ Her life was very tumultuous, she's been through more stuff than most people go through in a lifetime - that's probably why she gives the best pieces of advice. She also has a great intuitive ability and she "reads" people easily.
~ She is also the person I respect the most - for all that she is, for her strength, for all the efforts she made to raise me and my brother up, for all the good things she made out of nothing.
~ I love you, granny :)


As beautiful as this song....that's how beautiful my grandma is.

Weekend

~ After 5 working days, you expect a rewarding weekend. My Saturday was pretty much a mess. I thank God for my optimistic nature and for the ability to see the full half of the glass.

~ I decided to leave the problems aside and fill my time with..something. Long walks + shopping + cinema = a pretty nice weekend.














~ I saw "Prince of Persia" and loved it. And oh my, Jake Gyllenhaal is so CUTE :D



~ I hope to have a better time next weekend. Friday will be awesome for sure. Aerosmith is one of my favorite bands and they'll be playing here on Friday \m/.

(My ticket)



I ♥ this song

22

~ Flowers, books and plushies are the perfect gifts for me. Since my best friend is very thoughtful and knows almost everything about me she knew I'd love this book. So she gave it to me as a gift:)



~ I love all flowers but roses, along with calla lilies and orchids, are my favorite flowers. I received this beautiful rose from one of my work mates:)




~It's been a beautiful day both inside my heart and outside:)


~ A decade ago I wouldn't have believed I would ever reach this age but here I am today celebrating by 22nd b-day:)
~ I'm grateful for everything I have, for everything I was given and for everything I have achieved.
~ Life is sooooooo beautiful:):)

From L., with love.....

~~ While cleaning up my room today I found this letter. One of my class-mates wrote it to me when we were in high-school. I didn't give much attention to it back then but now I realize what a sweet gesture he did:) I was never able to feel for him more than I would feel for a friend...and I kinda mocked him for feeling something different for me.
I never thought of myself as of a special, uncommon being though people keep telling me I am no ordinary girl...
He is one of the persons who stood faithful to this belief - that I am special. :)

"Edelweiss

My soul is frozen, like a piece of ice awaiting for the holy Spring to come and bring it back to life. It’s winter now, the dreadful season that takes you away and leaves my heart broken and longing for you. Dearly, carefully, I keep the petal you gave to me when we said goodbye, when you allowed the mild wind to carry hope on its wings and lay it smoothly on my soul.

I’m feeling sad now and I’m thinking of the past, remembering the moments I spent deluding myself at the feet of the fantastic mountain on the rocks of which you grow and renew, hidden from the malicious eyes that could harm you, tenderly caressed by the Sun and motherly protected by the Moon.

I am like an explorer…I am aware of the obstacles that stand in my way to you and I wait, probably hopelessly, for an opportunity to climb the mountain and reach you, watch you closely. I know, the road that leads to happiness is toilsome but the breath of wind that carries your perfume gives me strength and hope. With all these in mind, I patiently await for the grandios Nature to come in my help and, at the end of this Winter, to break some of the rocks that stand in my way. On the peak of this heaven-born mountain you remained untouched and pure. I will always have this burning passion and curiosity to study you, observe you, discover you.

Thinking of what I’ve written I realize that you probably are a special being, dearly loved and protected by God and that maybe He is the only one who has the right to watch you. I realize that I have no right to dream of you, to hope to ever have you; I don’t deserve you for I am merely a humble mortal blinded by what I cannot see. It’s hard to admit this, but I can’t have you and I know that there will be many others like me that, allured by your noble appearance, will look for something that is not to be found.

There’s nothing left to be said. I will try to find another flower, one that grows down in the flat plain. However you will always be my distinguished “edelweiss”.

With love,

L."

.......................................................................
~ Si varianta in romana:)

" Floare-de-colt

Mi-e sufletul pustiu de gheata in asteptarea primaverii datatoare de speranta. E iarna acum, cumplitul anotimp ce mi te ia pe fiecare an, lasandu-mi inima secata de un dor nebun care ma macina necontenit. Pastrez cu drag si grija petala ce mi-ai dat-o la despartire, cand l-ai lasat pe bunul vant sa poarte in zbor speranta si s-o aseze lin in sufletu-mi crestin.

Acum sunt trist si ma gandesc la clipele trecute, cand m-amageam la poalele ce au dat viata fantasticului munte pe ale carui stanci renasti, ascunsa de priviri iscoditoare ce ar putea sa-ti faca rau. Privita esti de bunul Soare, ce te alinta gingas cu razele-i plapande, ocrotitor vegheaza Luna la somnul tau fara de griji seara de seara.

Precum exploratorul ce stie ca are in fata ultimul obstacol ce se opune fericirii sale, asa astept si eu, zadarnic poate, sa pot urca la tine si sa te vad de-aproape. Anevoioasa e calea ce aduce bucuria, stiu asta, insa placuta e adierea ce vine din vazduh aducand mireasma ta ce ma revigoreaza si ma indeamna sa nu renunt la gandul meu pe care-l stii prea bine. Avand acest crez, astept rabdator ca natura sa ma ajute si la sfarsitul iernii sa mai desprinda cateva pietricele din stancile ce ma impiedica sa ajung la tine. Pe varful muntelui ceresc, tu ai ramas neprihanita si pura, intocmai ca Fecioara ce o cinstim cu totii. O pasiune arzatoare in a te studia eu voi avea mereu, desi nu voi interveni acolo unde nici un ochi de muritor nu o poate face.

Gandindu-ma la ce am scris, am realizat ca esti faptura Domnului, ca numai El are dreptul sa il coboare pe Sfantul Duh asupra ta.

Spunand acestea eu nu am dreptul sa visez, sa nazuiesc ceva ce nu pot merita; sunt doar un muritor de rand orbit de ceea ce nu vad. Mi-e greu sa recunosc, insa eu nu te pot avea si stiu ca vor mai fi multi asemenea mie care vor cauta, impinsi de nobila-ti infatisare, sa caute ceea ce nu e de gasit.

Nu mai este nimic de spus si desi mi-as dori sa raman si eu precum Luceafarul lui Eminescu “nemuritor si rece”, nu pot. Voi incerca sa caut alta floare, aflata mai pe la campie, insa pe veci tu vei ramane distinsa mea “floare-de-colt”. In final tot la vorba aceea ramanem, “Daca dragoste nu e, nimic nu e”.

Cu dragoste,

L."